Ai Skeptics Gifts

Smart reply has existential crisis

"Welcome to the future"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Alternative Medicine

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."