Algorithm Skeptic Gifts

The Judgmental Algorithm

"Welcome to the future"

UK border controls relaxed.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

Early Programmers.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Big Brother.

"Tarzan no want computer."

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."