Aging Rock Warrior Gifts

"A reunion tour sounds good. Assuming we can afford the extra bus to haul your medication."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Italica

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"First break since 2008."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Eric Clapton.

Tina Turner

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Johnny Winter.

Listening to Coldplay.

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

Ozzy Osbourne

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

"Face it, Mom. I'm not going to college. I want to be a Rockette!"

Rod Stewart

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

Band Aid-style rock stars wear T-shirts that read : 'Feed my ego'.

Robert Johnson.

'Check out this funny-shaped rock!'

Santa Metal Claus

"That rock looks a bit like you, dad!"

'This next song is about oil. Then again, isn't everything?'

'My bike is so loud I couldn't hear my tunes.'

Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.

'Death, where is thy Sting?'

The Life of a Sentient Rock

Rock gods.

'I think I prefer it where it was.'