Aging Provocateur Gifts

"Are you expecting a hearse, Eric?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Aging Support Group

Ed's receding hairline!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

Baldness Facts

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Cave Painter

The Establishment: Independent Thought

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. XXII - The crush room at the opera. - 'Mr. Chawbacon's cart stops the way!'

Middle Age Spread.

"I'm in advertising. . ."

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

Performance Artist - Gone to put you off your lunch.

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Art that makes you ask questions.

'Michelangelo!'

"This is my son, Barry. He was headed for Congress, but instead had made his mark as a prominent internet troll."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Let's tweet that there's civil unrest in Torquay and see if it gets reported on the news.'