Romantic Provocateur Gifts

Age discrimination is on the rise...'Not with me, Mr Dithers!'

"This will be hilarious!"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'They were all out of roses.'

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

'Honey, this is Alonzo

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. XXII - The crush room at the opera. - 'Mr. Chawbacon's cart stops the way!'

Performance Artist - Gone to put you off your lunch.

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'If my husband comes home, duck out that door. . . He'll never see you.'

Man is walking his dachshund with a Happy Valentines Day balloon tied around dog's belly lifting it off of the sidewalk.

"Suspect apprehended... Caught bowhunting without a license and indecent exposure..."

Art that makes you ask questions.

'Michelangelo!'

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Aagh- are you sure you checked the smell-by date?'

Heart Flasher

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

'Ralph developed a love potion at the lab, but then the dog drank it.'

"This is my son, Barry. He was headed for Congress, but instead had made his mark as a prominent internet troll."

Cat gives bird Valentine's Card.

'Let's tweet that there's civil unrest in Torquay and see if it gets reported on the news.'

'Is that a lovebite?'

"It says here prostate massage can spice things up in the bedroom. It just doesn’t say anything about a giant foam finger."