Aging Gracefully Champ Pillows

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Multi-Generational Books

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Man...You age great!'

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Old Karate Master

"We REALLY do get better with age."

Parts Department

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"I come from the future."

Don't have a hot flush....