Ageing Gracefully Champ Pillows

'I remember when your dad still had a full mane and his own canines... back in his wild days.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'Man...You age great!'

Old Karate Master

"I noticed a few browns."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Aging Problems

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"I come from the future."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

A very fine vintage

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'They want your underwear.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A senior moment.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'