Agenda Aficionados Gifts

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Call me?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Happy thoughts

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'