Agenda Afficionado Gifts

"I have an agenda but I don't have a timetable."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Call me?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Sitting in a tree

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Valentine Day

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."