Age-defying Hopefuls Pillows

'Without surgery, you'll just have to accept jowls and a turkey neck as part of the aging process, Narcissus.'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'Prove it.'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"75"

'You know you're 40 when...'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"