Age Challengers Pillows

'Prove it.'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

AI

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

"The seventh green is gonna be a bitch!"

Business men line up at the police station

The cake diet.

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

Marcie's inner child chose an unfortunate moment to emerge.

'All right, all right, I'm getting up.'

Election

Kid coming home from school to parent: 'I couldn't remember my locker combination, so I got a tattoo.'

"Damn! They keys were right under my nose all along!"

Modern Attention Spans

'Good luck. That patch is designed to help you stick to your diet.'

'I can't see you either...'

'Without surgery, you'll just have to accept jowls and a turkey neck as part of the aging process, Narcissus.'

Tiny man and the chained door.

"I win!" "You're amazing, grandma."

'Son, be honest. Are you taking EPO?'

"It'll take him that long to finish it!"

"It's just, I thought I could and then I did. But now what?"

Airlines volunteer to reduce the size of seats to encourage weight loss

Help Wanted!

Did you ever walk into a room and totally forget what you're looking for?

"He dribbles to the top of the key, he shoots, he... pulls a hamstring!"

"This is Mrs. McBride from marketing."