Age Bender Pillows

The Fountain of Youth.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Alternative fielding positions

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Boys Cooking

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'Interactive TV news.'

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

How To Cut The Defense Budget

The Eclectic Chair

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'