Note Bender Pillows

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

My other cello is a Stradivari

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Boys Cooking

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

Chaos Theory Lecture - Upstairs and ask again.

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

'Interactive TV news.'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Occupational Hazards.

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'