Afterlife Rockstars Gifts

"Here's your wings and Stratocaster. . ."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'He lived and died for golf.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

Post-psychoanalysis

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Heaven

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"I still maintain an online presence."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Life on cloud 8