Affluence Aspirant Gifts

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"I don't understand what people are saying up here."

"Making an honest dollar's easy. Making an honest million, now that's tough."

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'I don't want to be president when I grow up - but I'd like to have enough money to run.'

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

Our Yuppie Dad

'Yes, well we all like money'

'What shall I do with these old books of yours? '

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'If you want to prepare for you retirement, why don't you buy a bank like I did?'

Get rich quick scheme! $500-

"I think we'll begin with the gentleman on the end."

'Sure, I'm a millionaire on paper. Unfortunately, the paper isn't issued by the United States Mint.'

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."