Affluence Aspirant Pillows

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

"Making an honest dollar's easy. Making an honest million, now that's tough."

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

'I don't want to be president when I grow up - but I'd like to have enough money to run.'

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

Our Yuppie Dad

'Yes, well we all like money'

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'What shall I do with these old books of yours? '

'If you want to prepare for you retirement, why don't you buy a bank like I did?'

Get rich quick scheme! $500-

"I think we'll begin with the gentleman on the end."

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

'Yeah, I misplaced my winning Lottery ticket. I'm always losing things. I've lost my Oscar, my Nobel Peace Prize, my chunk of moon rock, my collection of four leaf clover's...'

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

'Sure, I'm a millionaire on paper. Unfortunately, the paper isn't issued by the United States Mint.'