Aeroplane Aficionado Gifts

"I don't tolerate unruly passengers."

Words you don't ever want to hear: 'I keep forgetting - east, is that to the left or the right of north?'

'I bet that new guy can't wait to tell a bunch of tall tales about where he's been and stuff...'

"First, though, we'll be boarding all our bald business travellers who've been asking a ton of interesting questions for the past forty-five minutes."

You're Fired.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Airlines

Walking Luggage.

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

The World's Easiest Airport

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

The World Wide Web.

'I'm on my way!'

You must be this tall.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

A private jet takes off

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

Kamikaze Colour

Airport Bored Rooms

'. . . Just thought I'd drop you a mime!'