Advertising Ace Gifts

'You see, clever advertising works...'

For Sale: With Planning Permission for Swimming Pool

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

This Message Has No Content

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Crap from the future.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Nerd tryouts.

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'