Announcement Ace Gifts

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Lethal Presentation

Nerd tryouts.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Hair Traffic control.

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"I got a job for the king!" "Shirley, you jest!"

"I'd love to meet up, but my calendar is a jam-packed with squares and sequential numbers."

Politician with lots of address books

"I have bad news, but it's in bullet points!"

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

'What made that candidate stand out?'

Announcement at teatime

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

"And as we study this list, one thing is clear... my wife is doing groceries with my sales report."

Wordplay: Mediator.

Equestrian cheats by using a staircase instead of jumping over the jump.

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

The Sun Comes Out

"My email is down, so if you need to communicate with me, use this."

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

For Sale: With Planning Permission for Swimming Pool