Adult Relationship Humorist Pillows

Man locked in latex costume

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Always Compatible

May all your birthday wishes come true..

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation