Adult Novelty Collectors Pillows

Man with deflated sex doll at air pump.

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Hay Rides $10

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

A crab with a utility knife claw

Apocalypse Research Center

Bathroom Fairy

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Have you any W fronts?'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

A close shave on the Titanic...

Elton John

Lavatory Waterfall

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

Tin Can Operation.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.