Adolescent Friend Pillows

"Kisses don't mean much unless you feel something in your heart."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Likes: $2.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Twenty-first century baby walker

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Beware of the teenager.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'Sorry I'm late - I couldn't stop doing things with it!'

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"I love college."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."