Teenage Friends Pillows

'You've had mates around - this place is a tip!'

"I'm bored. Are you sure we've exhausted all the dangerous things we can do while texting?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Likes: $2.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."