Teenage Friends Gifts

'You've had mates around - this place is a tip!'

"I'm bored. Are you sure we've exhausted all the dangerous things we can do while texting?"

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Likes: $2.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Modern Kids.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.