Teen Friends Gifts

"My boyfriend's fifteen. . . do you have any perfume that smells like pizza?"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Likes: $2.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"He's gone goth"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Wanna see my tadpole collection?'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Beware of the teenager.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'Sorry I'm late - I couldn't stop doing things with it!'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"