Adolescent Friend Gifts

"Kisses don't mean much unless you feel something in your heart."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Likes: $2.

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Beware of the teenager.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'Sorry I'm late - I couldn't stop doing things with it!'

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"I love college."