Teenage Friend Pillows

Boom box/Ka-boom box.

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

"Let's take out these earbuds and experience something called the world."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"I don't know how to tell you this to your face, so I'm texting you."

'Son, just how much of this extra strength pimple remover did you use?'

'It's a great CD. It's designed to annoy adults.'

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

'Linda, your boy friend is here to visit our refrigerator.'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'Sorry I'm late - I couldn't stop doing things with it!'

The Man in the Moon as a Teenager: Another Zit! Man, that's gonna leave a mark...

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"Well, there's this girl. She makes me nervous, confused, shaky..."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 39. Go to the mall with someone who doesn't understand fashion.

"After days of planning, Operation Tiss U. Toss is under way. As night falls, the operatives prepare to leave their calling card on an unsuspecting house. But, unexpectedly, the mission is scuttled when the projectiles become utterly useless.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I don't! I mean, I do! Not Bea, but Estella. Maybe. Unless she has a boyfriend."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Likes: $2.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"He's gone goth"

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'