Teenage Friend Pillows

Boom box/Ka-boom box.

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

"Let's take out these earbuds and experience something called the world."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"I don't know how to tell you this to your face, so I'm texting you."

'Son, just how much of this extra strength pimple remover did you use?'

'It's a great CD. It's designed to annoy adults.'

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

'Linda, your boy friend is here to visit our refrigerator.'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'Sorry I'm late - I couldn't stop doing things with it!'

The Man in the Moon as a Teenager: Another Zit! Man, that's gonna leave a mark...

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"Well, there's this girl. She makes me nervous, confused, shaky..."

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 39. Go to the mall with someone who doesn't understand fashion.

"After days of planning, Operation Tiss U. Toss is under way. As night falls, the operatives prepare to leave their calling card on an unsuspecting house. But, unexpectedly, the mission is scuttled when the projectiles become utterly useless.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I don't! I mean, I do! Not Bea, but Estella. Maybe. Unless she has a boyfriend."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Likes: $2.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"He's gone goth"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”