Adjusting To College Life Gifts

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Kardiff.

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Too big to fail

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Day one, post grad