Ad Jingle Aficionado Gifts

'Ludwig, as your agent I have to tell you that unless you turn this symphony into an ad jingle or a TV theme song it won't sell.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Roads with a view.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Eat Beef

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Honesty in retail

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

They get into debt so fast these days...

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'