Ad Aficionados Gifts

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

'Good grief!! You're here already..?!'

'We're going back to a well proven tactic: aiming our ads at kids so they will bug their parents to buy it.'

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Eat Beef

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Honesty in retail

News for Sale