Acting Lover Pillows

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Overjumpers

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Joan Hickson

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

Steve McQueen

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."