Acting Lover Pillows

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'They all want to play the star.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Overjumpers

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Hamlet'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Cut!

Joan Hickson

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Steve McQueen

Reese Witherspoon

Jack Gleeson

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Theatre Crowd

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.