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Songs of the humpbacked whale

Robert Fripp

"Tong!"

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"What are you doing?"

'Music & Gym'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Ralph Stanley

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

Islington Angels.

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

'This is Ian, my new boyfriend. Did I mention he was a record holder?'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

His master's voice

When old rockers trash hotel rooms.

'I'm organic.'

The Beatles

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

"I heard they got back together."

music store

Music. Sale Pop. Sale Bin. Wow! They're practically giving away these CD's from the 80's! Cher prices have plummeted!

'You have a wonderfully tidy mind, Diane!'

'Sorry, we don't stock Sheryl Crow.'

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Rolls Music Store: Grand Piano $6500, Okay Pianos $1500.

"Your most precious investments are gold, fine wine, and all those vinyl records you've been hauling around since college."

Devil Buying Soul Music

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)