Acoustic Aficionado Pillows

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"Here's another depressing song about me."

Drugs and Rock & Roll

Guitarist.

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"I'm the studio musician on all the a cappella albums."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Orchestra.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"Toi Toi Toi!"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Bryan Ferry

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

My other cello is a Stradivari

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Woman crying with happiness.

"Tong!"

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Fossil record player.

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

Violin Practise

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

Elevator Music