Acoustic Aficionado T-Shirts

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"Here's another depressing song about me."

Drugs and Rock & Roll

Guitarist.

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Ed Sheeran.

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Thank you. That one came directly from the heart."

"I'm the studio musician on all the a cappella albums."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

Orchestra.

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

Elvis Presley

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Bryan Ferry

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Woman crying with happiness.

My other cello is a Stradivari

Eric Clapton.

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

"Tong!"

Fossil record player.

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"