Acoustic Gifts

James Taylor

Ed Sheeran.

"Tong!"

Guitar Man.

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Music producers.

"The subwoofers really help."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Ralph Stanley

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

"Mum, Mum, the choir master taught us to yodel today! I loved it, I want to practice every day..."

Missing. Last seen with.

Cowpunk

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"Thank you. That one came directly from the heart."

Recording Studio

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"That was a lovely poem Darling, but I suspect they're more interested in recording your singing..."

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Guitarist.

Blind Pianist of the Year Competition

Mississippi John Hurt

Ernie, will you please stop saying I'm "off my rocker" every time I switch back to the acoustic guitar.

VINYL HISS

Guitars

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

"Here's another depressing song about me."