Accomplished Tanner Gifts

'Me and Verl are gonna get spray-on tans just in our beach cover-ups before goin' to Florida.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

'At least they did a good job on him.'

'You're new here, aren't you?'

Spatula beach

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

The tanning channel.

Sunblock

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Medium well, please.'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

Frank was engrossed in his book --- He lost track of time and got a sunburn! Now he's well-read and well-red!

"High time!"

Sun Umbrella

'Did you just curdle?'

"I have nothing to hide."

'Stan, you are assistant bank manager now, no more sunning yourself during lunch.'

Tanning Machine on the beach

Lovely tan-lines George, lovely!

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

"You really need some sun."

"What was she thinking?!?"

Safe Sunbathing: 'And you're sure there's no risk at all?'

'... And we'll also sue for loss of your tan.'