Accidental Historian Gifts

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Archimedes statue with a lever

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'It wasn't premeditated.

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

A caveman attempting to make a cart

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

A window is the popular exhibit at an art gallery.

Margaret Cavendish

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

The Spoonish Inquisition

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

Style

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"Who gives a crap if it's not clear in 246 years?"

Ancient man

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

"Don't worry dear, accidents happen. Besides, thanks to you and your feather duster, I've just sold it to a collector for twice the original asking price."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

SOUTH CAROLINA SECEDES, 'See - I TOLD you that you couldn't fool all of the people all of the time!'

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.