Acceptance Speech Aficionado T-Shirts

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Changing Minds

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

William Pitt the Elder

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

Dove of Peace and Free Speech

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Orator translates in many languages.

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Sparky was always terrified of public speaking

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Donald Trump

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"I think you may be getting them mixed up-Perot is the one with charts, and Perdue is the one with chickens."

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'