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Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

Changing Minds

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Well that answers that question!"

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

'Hey, I voted for the big tax hike because suffering builds character!'

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

"Sinead?!"

'My other baby is Mercedes'

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'I inherited therefore I am'

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'

"Friends, Romans, countrymen..."

Brothers Grimm

"He talks at 100 miles an hour." "With gusts up to 120."

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

"To stay in or not to stay in...."

A big dog at lectern.

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

"Mr. Chairman, distinguished guests, Gramm, Rudman, Hollings..."

"I like him. He sounds authentic."

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."