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'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

Changing Minds

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

"He talks at 100 miles an hour." "With gusts up to 120."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

MLK

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Jerry Brown.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

William Pitt the Elder

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."