Acceptance Into School Gifts

"Mummy, Daddy, Fred! I've been accepted into dentistry school!"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'But what is the universe for?'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

Prejudice/Empathy

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

Pinara fund

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

Scenes we'd most like to see...

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'Cat Lit. You?'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

I rarely do this after only one interview, but you seem like a perfect fit for our company... Bruce Banner, welcome aboard.

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!