Acceptance Into Medical School Gifts

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"If I make it into medical school it'll be as a cadaver!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

The MBA Draft

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'Cat Lit. You?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'