Applying To Medical School Gifts

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"Switch with me. I need to get into medical school."

"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"This is a teaching hospital."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

Anatomy.

'Underpaid, overworked, stressed and sick of criticism...still enough of my problems do you still need the toilet?'

'Come into the examination room. I want to practice.'

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Medical Student

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

"Go to sleep, Harold... you've prepared enough for the third years!"