Medical School Acceptance Gifts

Even medical students sometimes have to repeat a year.

'Your penmanship is much too legible. Try writing with your other hand.'

"I'm studying to become a quack!"

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

'My Reginald made an important step towards becoming a successful doctor. He won the school Golf tournament.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

The MBA Draft

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'What's holding him up?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"Gross."

En garde!

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"Turn your head and cough."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"