Acceptance Into A Family Pillows

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

Prejudice/Empathy

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

I rarely do this after only one interview, but you seem like a perfect fit for our company... Bruce Banner, welcome aboard.

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'It wasn't just my own country -- I was without honor everywhere until I found Southern California!'

Time for bed

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

Thomas was brought up by his extended family

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

Egalitarian family

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

Mythical Family of Four

'Ready? Everybody freeze...'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

'I'm your new daughter. Marcia and I have traded parents.'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"Yes, we're very fortunate to be blessed with one of each."

"If there are no objections..."

Baby Elephant drinks water from it's trunk

'Well he didn't get it from my side of the family'.

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

'Will you marry us?'

Gay adoption

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."