Joining A New Family Pillows

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."

"...I think he makes a great father figure eight."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"It's just for a few days, darling. We're a very close family."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

A young Don King

Cry babies.

'Ahhh...'

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

baby sweetcorn...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Interior design trends for parents....

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!