Joining A New Family Pillows

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."

"...I think he makes a great father figure eight."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"It's just for a few days, darling. We're a very close family."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

A young Don King

Cry babies.

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

baby sweetcorn...

'Ahhh...'

The Baby Walker

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'