Joining A Family Pillows

'...and this is my extended family!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'What's that humming sound?'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Family sitting on sofa.

Reading in the family.

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Production manager with lots of children.

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

It's not a figure of speech - this is the corporate ladder.

"...and remember son. Don't let anybody push you around!"

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

Time for bed

'There's no need for you to state your opinion, son. Just lipsynching mine will do fine.'