Joining A Family Pillows

'...and this is my extended family!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

'What's that humming sound?'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Reading in the family.

Family sitting on sofa.

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Production manager with lots of children.

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

"...and remember son. Don't let anybody push you around!"

It's not a figure of speech - this is the corporate ladder.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

Time for bed

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

'There's no need for you to state your opinion, son. Just lipsynching mine will do fine.'