New Family Addition Pillows

'Endangered species, Rhino,Tiger,Elephant,the family'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Family sitting on sofa.

'What's that humming sound?'

'Mummy, Mummy, Timmy's dropped the ball again!'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

The No No No's

Raised by Dogs

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Reading in the family.

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'