Expanding Family Pillows

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"My mom's having a baby. That automatically moves me into a middle management capacity within the family infrastructure."

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

'We're calling him 'Quits'.'

'Space is not an issue: I'll just dig out a few more rooms...'

"Any possibility of a puppy?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

'Are you the Octomom who needs a new house?'

Production manager with lots of children.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'How many kids do we have now,Mabel?'

'What do WE need a love seat for?'

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

Reading in the family.

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

'Well, nurse, it was a bit daft putting me next to this mirror!'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"The kids are older; they're sleeping through, life's getting easier. We should probably have another baby so we still have an excuse for being a hot mess."

The Houseplants vs The Kids

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

The No No No's

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Family members!

Paul goes home for the holidays

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'What's that humming sound?'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"This might take awhile, Lord."