New Addition Pillows

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Empty box of ideas

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Bright Idea

Raised by Dogs

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'What's that humming sound?'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Family working together

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Dummies for Dummies.

Family sitting on sofa.

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

Untidy bedroom